Gaming Records

We were playing "It Came From The Floating Vagabond". To those of you who haven't encountered this little gem, it is basically a comedy game revolving around multiple dimensions, bad behaviour, drinking and vomitting. The skills have wonderful names: Brawling is called Hurt People. Basic swordplay is called Swing Long Pointy Thing. Martial Arts is called Hurt People Really Badly. Fencing is called Swing Long Pointy Thing With Panache. And it has the skill of Target Vomitting. What more could you want? The Scenario Some bloke turned up at the Floating Vagabond (the bar where all scenarios start) and offered us some job. Now you've got to remember that we were morons roleplaying drunk morons, so I don't recall much. But basically the job went something like this. Space Nazis had taken over some planet somewhere, which was a development he felt was a bad thing. He wanted us to stop the invasion, and, cunningly, was going to use a time machine to dump us on the planet just before the invasion. Clever huh? What Went Wrong So this bastard flies us back in time to this planet, tips us out the doorway and then just pisses off, leaving us drunk, confused, unbriefed and generally clueless. (Not a particularly hard "stretch" in acting terms then). But GMs, what you must never forget is this: The most moronic of players will achieve levels of geniushood if there is the slightest flaw in your scenario. So we wondered aimlessly about, bumping into people and generally getting into trouble until things eventually degenerated into a moaning session. "Why didn't he give us any sort of briefing?" we demanded of the GM. "Why didn't he give us any equipment?" "Why did he just piss off?" "How the hell are we supposed to complete the mission without a clue about what we're supposed to do or how we're supposed to do it?" And what did the GM say to this? He just leaned casually back in his chair, and said: "Well he's not bothered, is he? I mean he's got a time machine. If you guys fuck up he'll just send a second team back in time to do the job." "Great," we said. "Let's go find these guys."

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