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Whack O'Jack

My Current Project



Diana: Warrior Princess (described on its website as "Action! Adventure! Anachronism!") is a game based on the legends of the 20th century as they will be remembered in the 30th, with the people of the 30th century mangling our history as badly as we mangle our ancestors.

(Like, say, oh I don't know: a supposedly 5th century Romano-Briton King Arthur recast as a 14th century Norman knight in plate mail, for example?)

So Diana is an Amazonian princess who battles against the evil War God Landmines and the equally evil sorceress, Thatcher, aided only by her trusty friends Fergie, Red Ken, and Wild Bill Gates.

Now strictly speaking, Whack O'Jack isn't for use in Diana: Warrior Princess. Instead, it's for use in a variant setting that comes with the game: Elvis, The Legendary Tours.

A good way to illustate this is probably to mention the five characters that Marcus (the game's author) created on his blog a little while ago, after asking for suggestions from his readers. They were:

  • Vlad Lennon (bard, barbarian swordsman)
  • "Senator" Joe McCartney (bard)
  • Billie "Doc" Holliday (frontier medic and law-woman)
  • Elric Clapton (musician and shaman)
  • Bob "the Builder" Marley (mystical roadie)

Now I also responded to his call for his suggestions, coming up with Whack O'Jack. But alas, it turned out that he was looking for PCs for a scenario to be used as a demo at conventions, and not a sick, scary NPC.

So I'm going to present it here instead.

Whack O'Jack

Name: Whack O'Jack
Status: 30 Success: 5+ Hit Points: 6 Bonus Points:
Quote: "Do you want to see my monkey?"
Animal Handler: 3 Computers: Marksmanship: Speed: 2
Artist: 7 Driving: Martial Arts: Strength:
Athlete: 2 Healing: Mystic Power: 7 Thief: 1
Charisma: 7 Linguist: Science: Thinking: 1
Back Story:The stories say that Whack O'Jack was once a talented child with the voice of an angel. But his evil father took advantage of his talent, forcing him to perform for money before rich lords and ladies, and causing him to grow up twisted and warped.
Possessions: Magical Pipe (musical). The pipe allows Whack O'Jack to entice up to 100 children to leave whatever it is they are doing, and follow him; each each such use requires a Mystic Power success
Weapons: None
Notes: Whack O'Jack is a nightmare figure, a bogeyman who entices children with his beguiling singing, and steals them away to Neverland, his dark and disturbing mystical realm. It is even said that he once abducted all the children from the far-away town of Hamelin when the inhabitants no longer wished to hear him sing. Whack O'Jack has many guises, for not only is he a man of many costumes, he is also that most feared of things: a shapeshifter. On one day he might appear as an attractive young black man, a smiling minstrel, bringing happiness and cheer; on another he might take on the visage of a horribly ravaged and aged white woman, causing fear and loathing in all who see him.

What do you think of this article?

It ascended to heaven and walked with the gods.
It was very good.
It was pretty good.
It was okay.
It was a bit bad.
It was very bad.
It sucked, really, really badly.