Main Logo My Live Action Misadventures
Contents By Archimedes

Live action Roleplaying. I resent this on general principle. For one, it involves moving, and I'm far too lazy to allow such a concept to enter my mind. For another thing, there is too much leniency in what goes on in Live Action. Too many house rules results in too many problems. Rules are seemingly invented at random, and discarded just as quickly. I shall now regale you(or bore the hell out of you) with my adventure in Live Action.

Vampire: The Masquerade

For those who've played Vampire: The Masquerade, skip this next part and read on. For those who haven't, read my quick and thoroughly useless explanation. Vampire consists of several clans, each with different abilities, skills, etc. They all have their own major personalities, which can further be broken down into smaller categories, as per the Player's desires. Thus ends my explanation of Vampire. Did I lose you? Good.

The Invitation

One of my former friends, whom I'll call "Bastard" here, had received an invitation to a live action Vampire session. I had been playing Vampire for a few months, and I was interested, so Bastard called the host, informing him that he (Bastard) would be bringing a guest.

The big night arrived. Like a lonely man getting ready for a blind date, such was my character that evening. I was a little apprehensive and nervous, but Bastard assured me that, "These are my people. You'll do fine." And of course, like an idiot, I believed him.

I asked him what was the dress code, if one even existed. He said, "Just wear what I wear." I noticed him putting white face paint on and some black lace. That was the first of several clues I would ignore that evening, clues which said, "RUN!" However, I joined him in his face paint, but refused to wear the lace.

The Arrival

Once we arrived, I was surprised to see at least 40 people at the house. I'm not shy by any means, but large crowds full of people wearing black leather, white face paint, and plastic vampire fangs caused me great consternation. That was clue #2.

Anyway, we walked into the house, and I was explained the rules of Live Action:

No physical contact.

Staredowns are used for most tests.

Rock-Scissors-Paper was used for the rest.

Simple rules, basic rules. In short, false rules. I listened with great interest, but apparently, everyone else had ignored the first rule. The game began shortly after, with the host turning on some heavy metal music and the entire group of would-be vampires mosh pitting (throwing themselves into one another.) I was immediately sandwiched between a large man and the wall. Unfortunately, I took quite a beating during the mosh session. My screams of pain went quite unnoticed.

The Death Of A Brujah

My character was a Brujah, best described as a young radical punk. I was sticking close to Bastard, mostly because I still firmly believed that "these were his people, and I wouldn't be harmed." Lies, lies, all lies.

As I was drinking some pop which was left on a table, I was confronted by 3 large "vampires."

"HEY! Vampires can't drink. You know that!"

I looked at him, and said, "Well, I'm not a REAL vampire. I just play one on TV."

Now, I've often been accused of being a smart ass. I truly was only trying to lighten the mood, but he immediately shrieked, "HE BROKE THE MASQUERADE!!"

NOTE: For non-Vampire players, the Masquerade is simply the code of ethics among vampires - how they behave in public, since they do not wish to be known as vampires. Anyone breaking the Masquerade in the game is punished by a mass beating, resulting in death. This warm and fuzzy tradition is known as a "Blood Hunt."

Anyway, my therapist tells me its good to talk about this, so I'll continue. His two burly friends lifted me up, walked me over to a window, paused briefly to let him OPEN said window, then threw me out. Luckily, we were on the first floor, and I suffered little pain. However, I was shocked. I had been told that there was no physical contact allowed.

As I dusted myself off, I saw the 3 men in an animated discussion with Bastard. He then shook hands with them, and screamed out, "BLOOD HUNT!!"

e-mail The Hunt...

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Copyright 2000 Archimedes