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The Players Speak


Bog Boy

For the record I Bogboy do not "always" play female characters however, it is a known fact that myself and Mark do occasionally play members of the fairer sex. But then we also play Elves or Aliens or a variety of other non-human or male PC's. However I digress, Jonny's fear of the opposite sex should not be the topic of a role-playing article. Also Dual only appeared as a female for one scene in the nightclub. The rest of the time Dual was in the guise of Jerry "Garabaldi" Doyle.

Next, I am not Homophobic I have a few Gay friends and treat them no differently than any of my other friends. (I am equally mean to all of them.)

However as it was pointed out the use of "Iron" as a name of a Gay NPC was guaranteed to turn a roomful of Twentysomethings (I am making the most of that phrase as it only has 5 months of life left in it for me.) into giggling twelve year olds.

The Bed linen incident:

I have decided that certain comments I could make concerning this may either incriminate me, or further the impression that was given by the article that we are a bunch of arseholes. However it is very true that my grasp of the damage rules were wrong and incredibly lethal.

To summarise it was a bad scenario and was further worsened by the antics of "The Consultancy".



What can I say in defence about Ebola's conduct during that session?

Now, well okay I might not have been listening properly when the GM was speaking, (I was re-writing my character sheet) yes har har I deserve the 'You are a thick cunt!'.

Mitigating circumstances:

Remember Ebola has three powers: super stamina (what is this sleep?) Disintegrate (let me get this right, I can destroy anything I like right?) and Invisibility (Its amazing what you can do when you don't have to look in the mirror).

Ebola has high taint. He has no eyes - just pits of black, when visible faintly buzzes like a fridge, has no sex drive and plus he's generally just on the edge of lucidity.

This doesn't explain my foot in mouth affliction.


The talking to the agent about our secret mission thing, I concede that on first glance it may appear that I was being as thick as fuck, but in reality it was a subtle mind game to craft misinformation in the minds of the forces aligned against us. By stating the obvious we could hide in plain sight.

Fuck it ok, I screwed up, Ebola was planning to take him down around the back of the club and make him 'disappear', (literally) he he he, after Ebola had told him what the mission was and then gauged his reaction. But then that little voice of doubt spoke at the back of his head and told him 'you are supposed to be the goodish guys'. After a brief internal conversation where Ebola tried to rationalise this fateful course of action, his inner voice of doubt resolved the matter and made him carry out only the first part of his information gathering plan.

Although, you know, I would have loved to see the stunned expressions around the table if Ebola's internal dilemma had resolved the other way!

The disintegrating Jake issue. Very simple and very misunderstood. Ebola did not think that Dual was going to be 'buggered' to death at all, the GM should attest to the fact that such notions were beyond Ebola's grasp since the onset of his taint. What Ebola did understand is that an extraction was required of a badly wounded team member (who just happened to be the guy/shape shifter that hired him). I suggest that the homophobic slant on this bungled recon mission is pure conjecture on the GM's behalf.

Tell me, what would you do if you could go invisible, never get tired and destroy your enemies, (especially under the mis-read rules) at a whim? Sure you are going to save your team-mate, aren't you, go on, there's money in it. That's what Ebola did.

Now, if Ebola was a really out of control, evil, sick and twisted nova surely both Jake the Dragon and that other agent would have been 'disappeared' out of hand? See, everything's ok now you know the truth, hopefully Ebola (or me the driver) sounds less like a psyco/homo/sociopathic cunt.

I hope so any way but I doubt it now that the lies have been seeded in your minds by the GM.

Evil G

I have no recollection of any of these events.


This stupid game has been the subject of many months debate. Jonny has been citing parts of it as shining examples of player stupidity. The rest of us have been citing the fact that Jonny really didn't have a clue as to what was going on, and is sexually frustrated, as the main problems of that game.

As for the scenario, we did try. How were we supposed to know that we were supposed to sit on the beach during the day, and suck up to Andy during the night. We actually thought there was something to do.

The Splashing Incident:

My question on splashing was actually to try to deduce 2 things, firstly who was in the bathroom, was it a man (Jake) or was it a woman (Charlotte). Secondly what kind of time scale were we talking about here. I actually knew the second I said it how it was going to be perceived but by that point it was too late.*

I never thought it would come up a Critical Miss Article.

The Pillow Incident:

The less said about this the better, and as nothing I say here will clear either party I abstain from making any comment. It was Jonny's Fault though.

The Dak Incident:

Ebola, Invisible with the Disintegrate power. What the Fuck do you think he is going to do? If Jonny had such a big problem with that combination he should have banned it! Therefore it was Jonny's fault.

The Murder Incident:

OK now put yourself in our place. We find out about a Murder but as were UNDER COVER and have been bollocked about BLOWING OUR COVER earlier in the game of course were going to be discrete. What did Jonny expect? Again it was Jonny's fault.

Ok now that I have slated Jonny repeatedly, and this article was supposed to give us the players a chance to do just that, I am going to quit while I am ahead. Next time Jonny you may want to reconsider giving us a chance to reply.

* Jonny suffered from an attack of this at Conceptions, he was explaining that the Roman Catholic Church had many Patron Saints who you prayed to for specific reasons. Unfortunately he sited as an example of this, the Patron Saint of Lost Sea Men (seamen). I bet Jonny never thought that would come up in a Critical Miss article either...

What do you think of this article?

It ascended to heaven and walked with the gods.
It was very good.
It was pretty good.
It was okay.
It was a bit bad.
It was very bad.
It sucked, really, really badly.