|Hi You Guys Must Be The Party!|
Picture the scene. It is early morning, on a mountainside high above a snow
filled valley. A group of novice adventurers prepare to enter a concealed
cave, in search of glory, treasure and wealth beyond dreams. Carefully,
hearts pounding, they enter the gloom.
Inside a shadow stirs. A rat, its whiskers twitching as it turns to face them. One of the adventurers advances towards it, shouting: "Feel the flames of purification you cursed spawn of Satan!" A small ball of blue flame shoots from his fingertips and hits the rat on its flanks, causing it to yelp.
Angered now, it begins to move towards the group. A warrior clad in plate mail advances to meet it, raises his metal shot foot and, shouting "Die you fucker, die!" proceeds to stamp repeatedly upon it, until it is merely a bloody mash of flesh upon the cavern floor.
The warrior returns to the party and faces the wizard: "Well, that spell was crap! What other ones have you got?"
"Err... That's it. I've only got that one."
"But you can cast it again, right?"
The wizard shuffles and looks away, embarrassed. "Well not til tomorrow. I've got to memorise it again."
The warrior walks over to the remaining adventurers, leaving the wizard alone. They confer for a moment, and then he returns.
"Look Dongar," he says to the wizard, "me and the lads have been having a talk and we don't think it's worth keeping you around. I mean without your spell you're just a dead weight. We'd have to carry you the whole of today and then the night, before you're even slightly useful again."
"What do you mean?" splutters Dongar.
"Well we figure we may as well put you down now, then get a replacement wizard, who's fully charged up with a spell!"
"You're in the middle of a fucking wilderness," screams a terrified Dongar, bullshitting for his life, "where the hell are you going to find a fucking wizard?"
"Oh one will turn up," replies the warrior as he draws his sword from its scabbard, "they always do."
There's one in every party...
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