Critical Miss: Issue 3 (Thoughts For The Soul)

Thoughts For The Soul

Each issue in Thoughts For The Soul we explore the more serious side of the Universe. We discuss, question and ponder a particular facet of life, and then present our Thought For The Soul - a quote we feel encapsulates what we have talked of.

This issue we examine the subject of corporate management.

I've worked as a programmer for a number of companies now, and have swapped stories with quite a number of other programmers, and one common theme always pops up.

Managers who promise everything. He's gone to talk to a customer or client about a particular item of software, an item that he's knows fuck all about, but that doesn't worry him. Whatever the customer asks, the answer is yes (because "no" and "can't" aren't in the manager's dictionary).

"Can your product do such and such?"

"Yes!"

"Could you write an add on to your product to interface with our 20 year old proprietary database which runs on obsolete hardware and an operating system from the dark ages?"

"Yes!"

"Can you have it finished by lunchtime tomorrow?"

"Yes."

What these wankers never seem to understand is that sometimes there is such a word as can't. Faith doesn't move mountains. Salvos of hydrogen bombs move mountains. It's easy to make your company look good by promising the Earth, but when you can't make good those promises it will all turn to shit in the end.

With that in mind I came up with a little saying that I'd like to think will one day be mentioned in the same breath as Murphy's Law, Parkinson's Law and the Peter Principal.

This issues Soul Thought is...