The Magazine for Dysfunctional Roleplayers








ISSUE 3 : Summer 1999


Hi,
      Well we've finally reached issue 3 of Critical Miss and it's beginning to look like we might actually be getting the hang of this magazine lark. (Let us know if you think we're being a bit prematurely optimistic here).
      The best thing about doing Critical Miss is how it's reached out to people all across the world. So far, we've received letters and subscriptions from readers in the following countries: Australia, Belgium, Brazil, Canada, Chile, Denmark, Finland, France, Germany, Holland, Indonesia, Israel, Italy, Japan, New Zealand, Norway, Philippines, Portugal, South Africa, Venezuela, the United Kingdom and last but not least, the United States. If any of you guys are from some countries not on the above list then please drop us a line to let us know.
      The other big news is that we are now listed on Yahoo which was a pretty nice ego boost for us. But that's enough self-indulgent waffle. I'd better let you get on and see what we've given you this issue. Hope you like it.

Jonny Nexus, Editor, Critical Miss Magazine.



What You Guys Need Is A Lawyer!
If you think that strength, agility, courage and a shit-storm of magic are enough to let your group survive a modern high-tech dungeon then think again. They aren't. Your GM is a bastard on a power-crazed ego-trip and your cherished PC is merely fuel for his sick little fantasy. You're toast, with just one chance of escape.
      Only Rules Lawyering can save you now.

The Worst Roleplaying Game Ever Written?
We told ourselves that we were going to engage in some "post-ironic retro roleplaying". We told ourselves that it was just a little interlude before we tried some serious stuff. When we began to play, and realised that the only thing that sucked worse than the games system was the scenario - we told ourselves that it being crap was part of the fun.
      But when we ended up using the combat system to resolve an execution I began to have doubts...

I Know What Roleplaying Is!
We sensitively discuss the issue of all those people you meet, who think they know what roleplaying is.

"...And then you realise it was only a dream. The end."
Too often, the ending of a scenario is the last thing to be written (and it shows). An otherwise thrilling adventure suddenly runs out of steam and ends in tedious anticlimax. Sound familiar?
      James Bates discusses bad and boring endings, and gives advice for both gamesmasters and players.

Kill The Hippy!
The UFO arrives tonight and Moonbeam the Hippy aims to video it. Your job is to stop him. A scenario for any conspiracy-ish game

Nuke The Crap Out Of Europe
Learn about geography and population sizes and practice your arithmetic in our free educational game. (Everything you need supplied, just print out two sheets and get playing).

What Dickhead Came Up With That Plan?
We could have played it safe. But no, we had to have a giggle didn't we. The stupidest plan in history, as moronically conceived by one J. Nexus.

Lost In Cyberspace
In Neuromancer William Gibson weaved a thrilling story around a briefly sketched view of a cyberspace. When RPG designers wrote the various cyberpunk games now on the market they took his vision, and extrapolated. The wrong way.
      We suggest an alternative take on cyberspace.

Stop me and fire one
Some serious shooting hardware created using the Guns Guns Guns system.

Reality and Super Heroes, A Deadly Combination
theMagius, on why he just can't seem to get into superhero RPGs

Americana
Last issue, in Roleplaying In Blighty we issued a challenge to any of our American readers to write a response. Kid Sinister took up the challenge...

The "Freak Killer"
Last issue, in The Freak we presented a heavily cooked Heroes Unlimited character. Chris Fleming took up our challenge to produce an opponent.

Critical Miss Does Doesn't Do LRP
Last issue we promised to investigate further the phenomenon which is live roleplaying. We didn't. Here's why.

Uncle Figgy's Guides
There's a lot of good stuff out there on the web (besides us) and Uncle Figgy's Guides are, in our opinion, up there with the best.

Cyberwear For A Leisure Age
Playing in a cyberpunk game? Bored with page after page of combat cyberwear and serious equipment. Looking for implants more suited for 21st century recreational use? Then check out some of the shit we've thought up for you to implant into your cyber-PC. It won't make you a more effective adventurer. It won't make you a more rounded character. But it might make you more, well... interesting.

Chat Mailing List
There's quite a few of you out there reading this magazine, so we thought we'd give you a way to talk to your fellow dysfunctional roleplayers.

Ask Doctor Bubba
We sensitively, considerately, and intelligently answer some roleplaying dilemmas and problems that some of our readers are suffering from.


Well that's about it. Hope you liked it. Oh, and if you haven't already done so, check out our Reviews, IMHO, Feedback, Soul Thought and Gaming Records sections. And finally, if you liked reading this issue and want us to email you when we publish Issue 4 then please subscribe.
copyright © 1999 Critical Miss Gaming Society
Critical Miss Magazine is published four three times a year by the Critical Miss Gaming Society.

GURPS is a registered trademark of Steve Jackson Games inc. Dream Park is a registered trademark of Tower Of Night Enterprises. Traveller is a registered trademark of Far Future Enterprises. Paranoia is a trademark of West End Games. Heroes Unlimited is a trademark of Kevin Siembieda and Palladium Books Inc. Magic: The Gathering is a trademark of Wizards of the Coast Inc. Timelords and Corps are trademarks of Blacksburg Tactical Research Center. Hero System is a trademark of Hero Games. Cyberpunk 2020 is a tradmark of R Talsorian. Fuzion is a trademark of R Talsorian and Hero Games. Masterbook is a trademark of West End Games. Battlelords of the 23rd Century is a trademark of Optimus Design Systems. Nexus and Feng Shui are trademarks of Daedalus Games. Silhouette and Heavy Gear are trademarks of Dream Pod 9. Millennium's End and Psychosis, and the Millennium's End and Psychosis logos, are trademarks of Chameleon Eclectic Entertainment, Inc. Superhero(s) and Superpowers are registered trademarks held jointly by DC Comics, Inc. and Marvel Entertainment Group, Inc. Wonder Woman and The Flash are trademarks of DC Comics, Inc. Fantastic Four and The Human Torch are trademarks of Marvel Entertainment Group, Inc.

Critical Miss Magazine recognises the status of all copyrights, trademarks, product names and registered trademarks, and the use of the aforementioned within the publication should not be construed as a challenge to such status.