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Issue 8 Summer 2002      The Magazine for Dysfunctional Roleplayers

Hi all, here we are, and only about four months since Issue 7. Wow. At this rate we might be able to scrape Issue 9 in before the end of the year. Unless we find something more interesting to distract ourselves with of course, as generally happens.

We're honoured this issue to have a piece by noted games designer and writer James Wallis. James gave us some very good advice back in our early days, and has continued to be a cheerful and enthusiastic supporter of roleplaying, despite various trials and tribulations.

We've also got another notable contributor in Nick Pollotta, published author, and member of the Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America (SFWA). We're not exactly sure who they are, but we understand it's a pretty flash bunch to belong to. Oh, and we've got a letter from Phil Masters, whose written so many roleplaying supplements that it would unbalance the page to list them here.

Finally, as well as Critical Miss, I write a column for the UK roleplaying magazine Valkyrie, and the first two columns are now up on the web. The first one was on the theme of roleplaying aliens ( Would You Let An Orc Babysit Your Baby?) while the second one was an untitled piece about conspiracy games.

Anyway, here's Issue 8. Hope you like it.

Jonny Nexus, Editor, Critical Miss Magazine.

P.S. We've done a number of pieces which describe some funny events that occurred during our roleplaying, and some people have told me that they think those things must be made up. Sorry, but they're pretty much all true. We are that dysfunctional. It basically all happened just as I wrote it.


Rant How James Wallis Ruined My Character's Life

For the past two and a half years, my Sunday afternoon group have been playing a WFRP campaign. I like WFRP, and this campaign is the longest I've ever played in, and probably the best. But over the last year or so my character's life has taken a definite turn for the worse.

And we all know whose fault that is, don't we? Discuss this article...


Snippet James Wallis Replies

We figured that it was only fair to give James Wallis a chance to respond to the accusation that he ruined Fat Gregor's Life, and he rather sportingly agreed, so here, in his own words, are his opinions of the events described in the above article. Discuss this article...


Free Game Porno!

Porno! is a fast-moving roleplaying(ish) game which utilises our revolutionary Speak-Record-Play system to allow you to bring all your porn film fantasies to life. Discuss this article...


Setting Planet Erf

We recently heard about something called "D20 Modern", which seemed a bit improbable to us. I mean, D&D in a modern setting..? That's never gonna work, surely? But anyhow, we thought we'd have ago, and this is what we came up with. A D20 Modern setting we've called "Planet Erf".

P.S. It is possible that we might have made a *huge* misunderstanding... Discuss this article...


Scenario Oy! Leave Them Orcs Alone!

A one-shot scenario for our Planet Erf setting (that's the one above, dipstick!) complete with pre-generated characters, all ready to go. A tribe of unemployed, alcoholic orcs are being hassled by a ruthless multi-national corporation, and it's your job to set things right. Discuss this article...


Fiction Millennium Knights

A Fantasy/Humour short story by Nick Pollotta from his "Bureau 13" series, based upon the RPG "Bureau 13" from TriTac Games. Discuss this article...


Thought Are We Ramblers Or Orienteerers?

I was thinking the other day about why there is so much disagreement about what roleplaying societies / associations should and shouldn't do, when it came to me that the problem is more deep-rooted. Perhaps it's just that we differ fundamentally in just what we perceive roleplaying to actually be? Discuss this article...


Report Official Response From Conception 2002 Organisers

In our report about what happened to us when we attended Conception 2002, we said that if we would publish any response from them that they wished to make. Here it is. Discuss this article...


Report Q & A About Conception 2002

Since we published our report about Conception 2002, a variety of questions and queries have been made, both about the report and the convention itself. So we thought we ought to try to give, where appropriate, additional answers and clarifications. Discuss this article...


Gizmos Nexus's Portable Headquarters

This is quite simply the absolute must-have magic item for the well-to-do group of fantasy adventurers. Consider this: You're a high-level party with more power than Gods and enough cash to distort regional economies. And yet you spent 300 days of the year sleeping in tents or in damp dungeon cells. Quite frankly, you're living like shit. Well you won't be once you get hold of a Nexus's Portable Headquarters. Discuss this article...


Supplement D20... Shagged Beyond All Recognition

We've so far ignored D20 since it emerged in the summer of 2000, but last issue we published some OGL stuff, and since we apparently did it correctly enough not to get a cease-and-desist letter, we thought we come up with some more stuff. But what? After all the world and his dog are producing a flood of mostly good D20 products.

So we decided to tackle the other end of the market. In this section we present what we'd like to think of is the worst D20 rules extensions ever published. Discuss this article...


Stuff Reader's Own NAMGs

In our last issue we included a guide to producing your own New Age Mythos Game. Some of our readers rose to the challenge. Here's what they came up with. Discuss this article...


Thought Jonny's Action Plan To Save Roleplaying

We all know that the old hobby's not in quite as good shape as it was in its eighties heyday. Here's my plan to put things right. Discuss this article...


Guide Legal Defence Techniques For Roleplayers

Okay, so you've unwisely ventured south of the Mason-Dixon line, and are currently experiencing a kafkaesc nightmare involving a scary-ass medieval sheriff, who appears to be accusing you of illegal roleplaying.

Perhaps you should have read this guide first. Discuss this article...


Guide Fun With Dice

So the gaming session's dragging, and you're looking for something to do. Well, how about those funny shaped bits of plastic sitting on the table in front of you? Here's some ways in which you can amuse yourself with them. Discuss this article...


Boring The Bit That I Don't Like About D20

Now don't get me wrong. I like the D20 system. I think it's a nice freewheeling system for doing heroic type games. But I don't think it works for grittier, less heroic games, and here's why.

(Warning:- This is a pretty boring piece about probability curves, and it's not in any way original, but I seem to keep on having to outline this argument, so I thought I might as well get in down in "print" once and for all). Discuss this article...


Agony Ask Doctor Bubba

Hey! It's more crap advice! Discuss this article...




Ta Da!  Issue 8.  Bet you never thought we would get here.

For once I don't have anything much to say here.  Life has been pretty good for the most part.  I've even managed to find a job, not as flash or as well paid as the last one, but working for the government does have its moments.

Amazingly James Wallis wrote a piece for us, even after the unfortunate incident the last time I met him.  Actually now I come to think of it we had an encounter with Phil Masters at Killercon the year after.  It's strange how both of them ended up in this issue.

Jonny on the other hand didn't let me or the other guys who went to Conceptions anywhere the keyboard when it came to our response to theirs. Can't for the life of me think why? If any of you happen to bump into us in your travels sit us down and buy us a drink.  Maybe we'll fill you in on all the stuff that, in the interest of keeping the peace, we didn't put into this issue's article.

If you haven't already done so, check out the IMHO, The Forum, Feedback, Top Ten, Soul Thought and Gaming Records sections. And again if you haven't already done so and want to know when we publish Issue 9 then just subscribe and we'll get an e-mail out to ya when the next issue is online.

Peace init...

Bubba, Webmaster, Critical Miss Magazine.


Critical Miss Magazine is published four times a year  three times a year when we can be arsed, by the Critical Miss Gaming Society.

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